Tag: strong

How to deal with the delusional optimist

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  • Can you think of a friend who haphazardly or even recklessly makes illogical decisions without first considering the consequences or potential outcomes?
  • Does your line manager or business partner easily sweep issues and concerns under the carpet with careless dismissal of the impact this would have on workforce morale or workload?
  • Is there a member in your family who is quite good at ignoring common apprehensiveness or unease, who may come across as a bad listener?

If there is someone in your personal or professional life showing these kinds of behaviours, it could be that you are having to deal with a delusional optimist.

During a week-long school trip to Shrewsbury in year 6 (ages 10-11), our year group were divided into smaller groups for a group activity. I really loved this group activity, and even now I tend to use it as a team-building exercise for already existing working groups (or families)! One at a time, we had to wait outside the room whilst the others discussed which animal he or she was most like, and to describe his or her qualities. When it came to my turn, I was described as a nightingale because I sang and because I was an optimist. It was the first time I’d ever heard the word optimist (to my recollection); and have felt close to it ever since! 

What is ‘optimism’?

We have all heard of optimism. Optimism’s root, called ‘hope’, is a foundational virtue for its rise in the human heart and provides its nourishment. Loss of hope results in a loss of optimism, for optimism cannot survive without hope. Judeo-Christianity defines hope as the ‘greatest of all God’s gifts’, together with the other theological virtues of faith and charity. One of the earliest use of the term ‘optimism’ is in the work of Leibniz in the early 1700’s, but in modern history, the scholarly works into mental health of Fromm (1955), Freud (1966), Taylor & Brown (1988) and Seligman (today looked up to as the father of positive psychology) bring us to the popular definition of ‘optimism’ as we know it today, which is ‘a generalised expectation that good things will happen’ (Carver & Scheier, 2009) and is regarded as an attributional style (Seligman, 2006), a trait (Carver & Scheier, 2009) and an inherent human characteristic (Sharot, Riccardi, Raio & Phelps, 2007). 

Excessive optimism

As with all things of nature or spirit, balance exists and must be attained. It’s one of my life’s missions, to acquire balance in myself, and to help others attain it too – not just physiological balance (what is called homeostasis), but in all things that ontologically touch a human’s personhood. What we need for optimal performance must be at the right amount. Otherwise, it’s not good for us. This is a truth as pertains to both natural and supernatural law. 

A helpful analogy for balance is our daily intake of vitamins. Let’s take vitamin C. We only need 40mg of this vitamin a day for optimal performance. A chronic deficiency in this vitamin will eventually cause problems. Likewise, too much of this vitamin will eventually cause different problems (you can check my vitamin C factfile for more info about this). Imagine… we only need 40mg of vitamin C a day, and yet, people take 1000mg daily of this vitamin daily, believing that the more it’s consumed, the better the body will be for it. This is, quite simply, delusional, and potentially dangerous or painful (as it can exacerbate issues like hemochromatosis or oxalate-formed kidney stones, etc.). In fact, as a water-soluble vitamin, our bodies have a very, very clever way of eliminating any excess or unmetabolized vitamin C through our urine, so that we don’t have too much of it in our system at any one time.

The same concept must also be applied to the amount of optimism we require for peak performance as human beings. Ironically, people tend to think of the opposite of optimism as pessimism. However, I would disagree with this. I would argue that the opposite of pessimism is something called acedia (a hopelessness or spiritual depression. In the Christian faith, it is a desolation of sorts). The scope of this blogpost isn’t to deal with acedia or even explore it. However, I have done a lot of reading on this state and would be happy to write about it if it’s of interest to readers. The scope of this blogpost is to develop thought and gain insight on how to deal with a ‘delusional optimist’, but what is that? In 1988/89, ground-breaking work by psychologists Taylor and Brown claimed that although optimism is normal and natural, positive illusions, as differentiated between ‘inflated positive self-perception’, ‘exaggerated assessments of personal control’ and ‘unrealistic optimism’ present an inaccurate view of reality. With this realisation came the warning that illusions can be taken to excess, and when the ‘margin of optimal illusion’ is surpassed, we end up battling with the costs of delusional optimism.

Actions, behaviours and attitudes of delusional optimists – and how to deal with them

Please note that this list of actions, behaviours and attitudes are not strictly limited to delusional optimists. They could be signs and symptoms of other issues, conditions or even be a regular trait in certain personality types. 

Stubbornness

Delusional optimists are often very stubborn about the end to which they’re being optimistic about. This is just a result of their strong conviction that ‘things are going to be fine / work out the way they should’. This conviction can cause their ears and their hearts to disregard the genuine worries of others, which is why it’s important to remember that when dealing with someone operating in this mode, they are not purposely ignoring YOU. Also, it is understandable why one might become suspicious of their actions when they don’t openly communicate their intentions aloud. Don’t take their disinterest in your concerns personally. They are just highly convinced and are already committed in their hearts to a course of action that they fundamentally believe is best for everyone, and nothing but a crisis can wake them up from this delusional stupor. If the course of action leads to disaster, it may be easier to accept it as such, and to learn big lessons from it. However, if the course of action proves to be a success, then this delusional optimist deserves credit and praise for their dedication and commitment, as well as the courage it took to achieve the success (no matter how blind or ill-considered it was). 

Over-confidence

This behaviour makes sense if we ruminate on Taylor and Brown’s ground-breaking work as mentioned above. A delusional optimist may possess an inflated positive self-perception. This is when his/her subjective judgement signals self-possession of ‘better than average’, or maybe even ‘the best’, in quality or quantity: attributes, characteristics, skills, or abilities compared to others. They can tend to make exaggerated assessments of things they believe they have more control of or in, than they do in reality. This is due in part to the idea that what is objectively considered risky, may not be subjectively deemed so by the person. The phrase ‘throwing caution to the wind’ would ring bells here. A delusional optimist is a risk manager’s worst nightmare! In practice, the unrealistic optimism of such a person could cause an underestimation of resources and requirements to bring a project to success, or equally cause an overestimation of planned outcomes that would result in major losses (e.g. in money, relationships, time, reputation). However, being over-confident can have two distinct advantages. 1) Should a project work in favour of the delusional optimist, they’ll become a genius or somewhat of a hero figure among the pack, and 2) in the face of challenges, the delusional optimist has an uncanny ability to raise morale, motivation and performance, thereby increasing chances of success. Risk language doesn’t really work in convincing a delusional optimist to hit their pause button. If anything, it will only drive them further and more headstrong into their pursuit. In this situation, one must find a way to keep the motivation of the delusional optimist up whilst tactfully communicating the potential benefit or advantage of pulling back the reigns as attractive and positively aspirational. Killing their confidence wouldn’t be a good way to gain healthy results.

Irresponsibility

It might appear that the delusional optimist exhibits flagrantly irresponsible behaviour. The issue with this perspective is that, this would not be their perspective. When combining my points on stubbornness and over-confidence above, we are left with this: the unease of having to deal with decision-makers appearing to ignore responsibility. Where decisions have little to no impact on people, assets or liabilities, then objectively, responsibility lessens. If decisions have major impact on people, assets or liabilities, then responsibility understandably increases, and quite drastically. In a world where all things are equal, simple ‘what if’ questions may suffice for alerting someone to address their responsibility – however, this rarely works for the delusional optimist. The coaching style here would alter slightly to – in a way – work ‘backwards’. Helping them foresee any ‘fire-fighting’ activity that might come their way post-event, could be the best eye-opener for them.

Conclusion: Behaviour change through motivational interviewing

The best time to inspire behaviour change so that this optimist can continue to be an optimist, but a realistic one, is when they’re not focused on a project that they are already certain would be a crazy success! Working during a time of lull or when enthusiasm isn’t heightened would be helpful for bringing in some objectivity into their subjective reality. Motivational interviewing is a highly recognised technique for supporting clients see reality more clearly, and to make healthy life changes.

I’m Claz, a personal health, life & career coach as well as a massage therapist based in West London, accredited in the UK. You can book a session with me here or sign up to my workshops on my Eventbrite Page. Upcoming workshops include personal resiliency training.

ToC Tips for Sleep Wellness

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Introduction

When we look up at the world, it’s not difficult to see how and why sleep wellness is reputed to be at its lowest point in terms of human priorities in all of modern history. We tend to try and find so many solutions to our physical, emotional, social, spiritual and psychological ailments during our waking day, when actually, the best solutions and remedies to these ailments occur naturally at night, when we sleep.

We need to wake up to the following facts:

  • Tiredness and fatigue are the primary cause of one in five (21%) GP consultations in the UK.[1]
  • The NHS in England is spending almost £50 million each year to ensure the nation gets a good night’s sleep and insomnia is a significant problem which now affects more than one in three adults.[2] 
  • Sleep deprivation in the UK workforce costed the economy £40.2 billion in loss of productivity in 2016 and it is estimated this will steadily rise to £47 billion by 2030.[3]
  • Workers who sleep less than six hours per day report on average about a 2.4 percentage point higher productivity loss due to absenteeism or presenteeism than workers sleeping between seven to nine hours per day.[4]

With all the things we would like to fit into our day, a really good starting point ought to be our sleep – since the quantity and the quality of it greatly influences our daily activity, energy levels and productivity, which in turn affects our daily achievements.

There is a multitude of techniques, methods, hints and tips on sleep wellness online. But here are my top tips for sleep wellness (learned from experience!).

Sleep Environment

Your Bed: Your mattress, your pillow, your bedding, it has to be right for you! It is really important to invest a good amount of your attention and time to getting the right bed and sleeping environment for yourself. Yes, it’s easier to buy beds and mattresses online, but how do you know it’s the right firmness for you and that you will be comfortable recuperating in it every day for the next 8-12 years? During this Covid-19 period, where we are seeing many shops closing down, one of the types of shops that I’m really praying doesn’t close down are bed stores – for the simple reason, that is very difficult for people to buy the right mattress and bed for them unless they’ve tried it out.

Bedding: We can be more flexible with bedding, but I’d say the main thing to consider the material that you choose. Cotton is a natural fabric. It is breathable, wicks moisture and stays comfortably cool against skin. Polyester, on the other hand, is a synthetic fabric and does not absorb water the way cotton does. It will trap moisture and heat in hot environments, which can make for sweaty and uncomfortable nights.

Room temperature: Another critical element to a good night’s sleep. In the summer we all know how difficult it can be to sleep well. If you don’t have an air conditioner in your bedroom, then we can learn about room-cooling techniques from the Mediterraneans. Provided you do not use the bedroom for any kind of daytime work, close the curtains and blinds during the day, as well as all the windows and any doors. In the evening, as it starts to get cooler, open curtains/blinds and windows wide to let air in to cool the room.

Light & Sound: Invest in real sturdy black-out curtains. If you’re choosing windows, opt for windows that not just look great, but block sound efficiently. Sometimes blocking out light and sound needs to become a priority, and extra measures need to be taken. My next door neighbour has the most enormous dog with arguably the most enormous bark, and if there’s a fox that sets him off at 02:30 in the morning, it instantly wakes me up. And I don’t mean snoozy kinda woken up. I mean really awake. So I know that if the dog hasn’t been taken to Richmond Park for a good workout that day, I know I have to stick earplugs in the ears. So… aids such as earplugs and blackout night masks can be most helpful sometimes. Note: Make it non-negotiable to pack these two things in your travel kit!!

It took me a month to find the perfect bed, mattress and pillow for me. That’s partly down to the fact that shops such as Dreams and Bensons for Beds exist! Thank you Dreams! And the other part is the fact that I did not want to regret my decision of beds further down the line. #JustSaying

Nutrition

Cut down on caffeinated drinks (note: green tea has caffeine in it). If possible eliminate caffeine from your diet except for treat days and special occasions.

Don’t eat 2 hours before going to bed, with the optional exception of an organic camomile (infusion is better than supplement) only – or organic ginseng infusion around 60 mins before bedtime. Another thing that can be considered in your diet is an organic magnolia bark supplement, which affects your HPA nervous system and has been known to regulate cortisol spikes during sleep – please do not take supplements without speaking to your GP, Nutritionist or Eastern Medicine Specialist first, especially if you are on existing medication.

De-Stimulation Techniques

Don’t look at a screen of any kind (including tv) at least 30 mins before bed to reduce visual stimuli. A Lumie clock is great for gradual de-stimulation of your optic nerves through the technique of light reduction. Another light-reducing technique is to focus on the flame of a single candle 5 minutes before you sleep without any other lights on, inhaling and exhaling in deeply and slowly. These techniques will help you fall asleep easier.

Rest-Inducing Techniques

Build into your routine (aim for fall-asleep time to be between 21:30-22:30) a relaxation ritual. Something like a self-massage (on feet, hands, neck, shoulders, arms & legs) or a 30 min hot bath will do wonders. You could soak unscented bath salts in some of the suggested essential oils in point 6 to increase the relaxing effects of bathing, preparing you for a good night’s sleep.

If you’re not into massage, perhaps just the thought of spreading a lotion might be a better option. There are lotions that can be spread on your skin to aid a good night’s sleep. I have two different brand lotions. One contains magnesium, lavender and camomile, and the other contains magnesium and melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone produced naturally in your body to encourage sleep and controls your sleep cycle. If you do this, just enjoy the process – make an effort to go slow with the lotion spreading, avoid rushing and be tender and caring to yourself and your skin. Put some love into it, and just that in itself will help you to relax.

Consistent Routines

To be frank, all the above and below suggestions can be built into a consistent routine. But there is one routine that requires extra special attention: that of your wake up time. Try to wake up every morning at the same time. I know the thought of weekend lie-ins seems absolutely glorious, but the effect of a lie-in on your circadian rhythm can be brutal as you head into the weekdays. Take a nap during the day if you need to try to make up for some sleep deficit, but try to stick to the same wake up time. Irregularity in this will affect your hormone balance, which in turn effects your immunity and your metabolism. Homeostasis is greatly disturbed when sleep regularity is disturbed, which is why quality of sleep is as important as quantity of sleep.

Important: Often, people who are trying to make health-related changes in their lives give up far too soon or too quickly. Don’t do this! Don’t just give up after one week and think that you’re not getting the results you’ve been hoping for. Likewise, 4 weeks is not long enough for your body to have made its changes for long-term effects, even if you have been super consistent and faithful to the plan. I would highly recommend that you give yourself 12 weeks (that’s just 3 months and only a quarter of the year) to give your body a chance to adapt to internal changes, thus seeing results. 12 weeks is applicable for any health-related changes and works as much for sleep as it does for body recomposition (let’s just cross-reference that to weight loss for this purpose), or smoking cessation, or healthy eating habits, or gut re-balance… or anything health, really!

Physical Exertion

Aim to ‘spend’ built-up energy caused by stress on a physically demanding activity at some point during the day. Human stress response is most naturally impacted by the secretion of cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine (although other hormones also impact stress responses) into the blood stream – and these can be regulated by exercise. Even something as simple as a 10 min hard plié workout (and example of a load-bearing, strengthening exercise) or a HIIT workout (which promotes supramaximal expenditure of energy /or anaerobic exercise) will help you re-balance, and work toward physiological homeostasis.

Natural Therapies & Remedies

Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy solutions work wonders! I recommend an ultrasonic diffuser or nebuliser to release the oil fragrances for up to 4 hours into your sleep without burning the properties out. If you don’t use equipment, you could blend with carrier oils and massage the mixed oil onto your skin (use only therapeutic grade essential oils for this), or dab the oils onto a tissue that you have close to your nose when you are sleeping.

Calmative Oils (C): Calms and sedates the nervous system, mind, and reduces anxiety

Soporific Oils (S): Induces sleep

Hormonal balancing Oils (H): Motivates the endocrine system or balances hormone levels.

OILS: Valerian (S/C), Lavender (all), Sweet Orange (C), Petitgrain (C), Mandarin (C), Sandalwood (C), Clary Sage (C/H), Chamomile Roman (C/H), Neroli (C), Sweet Marjoram (So), Maracuja (C – not an essential oil, but a great sedating carrier oil for massage).

Important: Please seek professional advice from an aromatherapist if you are on medication, are pregnant, have sun sensitivity or have serious underlying issues as the effects of essential oils have an impact on the effectiveness of medication and pregnancy.

Herb remedies

Two very popular natural remedies in South Asian medicine for aiding sleep are ashwagandha extract and tulsi. They’re known to reduce stress & anxiety, buffer anti-oxidation in the brain, lower cortisol, increase muscle growth & strength, and improve fertility & reproductive health.

Vitamins & Mineral remedies

Some of the most important vitamins and minerals for aiding sleep are:

  • Magnesium
  • Iron (needs vit C for absorption)
  • Calcium (needs vit D3)
  • Boron
  • Vitamin C (necessary for iron absorption)
  • Vitamin D3 (necessary for calcium absorption)
  • Vitamin B

[please do not take supplements without speaking to your GP, Nutritionist or Eastern Medicine Specialist first, especially if you are on existing medication]

Pre-Sleep Release Techniques

Activities that help you to recollect yourself, your feelings and your mind may help you let go of the weight/burdens of that day. Meditation / Prayer, reading and spiritual moments or activities will help you to achieve this. The practice of examination of conscience helps me to find peace, and to also learn to accept my humanity in all its wonders and imperfections.

Brain dumping for the day – get all the last vestiges of the day’s worries, struggles and pains onto paper, and then throw the paper away, symbolising that you’ve let go of the day’s burdens and anxieties, and allow yourself to be at peace with who you are that very moment you fall asleep. Alternatively, journaling allows you to store those thoughts and feelings somewhere other than your head!

Understand your Sleep Wellness

Monitor your sleep activity every night using a Sleep app. I’ve been using the Sleep as Android sleep cycle app for at least 7-8 years now, and it gives me a lot of helpful information that helps me to monitor my sleep wellness.

Sleep Retreats

Particularly if you’re close to burnout, please, just STOP! Book yourself into a hotel and make a sleep retreat for yourself. Approximately every 2 years, I book myself into a sea-view hotel room for 7 days with the intention of recuperating physically and mentally, in order that I don’t burnout! About 50% of the focus of these 7 days is my sleep. If you have an interest in the programme I set for myself, please do get in touch with me and I would be delighted to share that with you. It would make this post too bulky to include it here, and there is a lot of wellbeing practice in it that needs thorough explanation. Note: I make other retreats that focus on other dimensions like my spiritual and emotional wellbeing. My point being that I don’t try to cram too much or set too many goals into one retreat.

Conclusion

So I have given you some techniques, methods and concepts that work for me. I’m of course also open to any thoughts you might have on this subject too! Feel free to leave comments below. I’m always learning new things, and love to learn about sleep. But I leave you with these words from The Sleep Council & The Sleep Charity:

“While diet and exercise have their parts to play in a healthier Britain, SLEEP is the catalyst that makes diet and exercise more effective – whilst also delivering significant additional health benefits. Clinicians are already ‘prescribing’ exercise, it is now time to ‘prescribe sleep’ to the nation.

A good night’s rest is essential to a healthy lifestyle – protecting you physically and mentally as well as boosting your quality of living.” ~ The Sleep Council & The Sleep Charity

I’m Claz, a holistic massage & wellbeing therapist based in West London, accredited in the UK. I am also a Life & Career Coach, working with individuals as well as organisations. You can contact me through my website www.touchofclarity.com and sign up to my workshops on my Eventbrite Page.

[1] National Hydration Council. GPs reveal UK ‘tired all the time’. https:/www.naturalhydrationcouncil.org.uk/press/gps-reveal-uk-tired-all- the-time/#footnotes1 (accessed December 2019)

[2] Daily Telegraph (2012). https:/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/ news/9257191/Sleeping-pill-cost-to-NHS-almost-50m.html (accessed December 2019)

[3] Hafner M, Stepanek M, Taylor J, Troxel WM, Van Stolk C. (2016) Why sleep matters — the economic costs of insufficient sleep: A cross- country comparative.

[4] The Sleep Council & The Sleep Charity, 2020 Sleep Manifesto. Sleepcouncil.org.uk

5 things you need to know when exploring career options & development

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Exploring career options often brings up the question ‘Where do I begin?’. It can be quite a challenging practical reality for many people under normal circumstances, but in these times, the pressure might be felt more.

It’s tough out there right now. I know. Don’t lose heart, and make sure you have your bases and foundations with which to build on firmly established.

If you’re someone exploring your career options, these 5 things are going to really help you get started. Together they form something called your CAREER PERSONALITY, and is pretty much just your ‘Career-oriented Self-Awareness‘.

 

Why do you need to know these 5 things?

Well, your career personality is essentially the picture of yourself that will not only guide your decision-making, but is also a major part of the ‘package’ (that is you as the unique and wonderful human being that you are) that your prospective employers, colleagues, co-workers will be receiving into their workplace and work lives. It is a holistic picture, that only you can paint, since it is borne out of your own self-awareness and self-knowledge.

 

1. Your Career Interests

Knowing your Career Interests can serve multiple functions. It can help you to:

  • Know which industries and/or sectors would be best suited to you
  • Get a feel for which occupations you might be a good fit for
  • Prioritise where and how you focus your job search
  • Differentiate you from potential competition
  • Explore out-of-the-box ideas
  • Foster hope and happiness in you

There are various ways that this can be explored. My clients receive my Career Discovery workbook. There are also a few career interests inventories out there – the Strong Interests inventory being one of the most powerful. One of the most fun inventories that I have found is the free app Game of Choices. I can’t really vouch for its accuracy, but some of my clients have enjoyed the fun of it, which can reduce the intensity of career exploration.

2. Your Career Personality Traits

It’s fairly common knowledge that in the workplace, we can adapt to behaving completely differently from how we normally do outside of work. Various factors influence this – particularly if you are in management & leadership positions. Knowing understanding, and embracing your core personality is fundamental as it allows you to manage your attitude and behaviour so as not to stray too far from your core. If you are in management or leadership, then the more you can align your management/leadership personality with your core personality, the more fulfilled you are going to be in these roles. For anyone not in these positions, it will be vital for your sense of wellbeing to turn up for work the best version of yourself.

If a recruiter has recruited WELL, then they will want you to flourish in the organisation and in the role itself, enabling you to be yourself and to reach a point of self-actualisation. There is really more to say on this point about recruitment, which I believe is sadly focused more on tasks than it is on people. A huge amount of cultural change is needed here, in my opinion.

There are several ways you can get to know your personality traits. The first is by really observing yourself in an objective manner, and learning about yourself from others’ honest and non-biased observations (really tricky, that one!). There are then psychometric testing that could reveal to you your traits. Professionally, I use the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, but there are many others out there and there are other blogs that specialise in this information. I like to use Schein’s Career Orientiations Inventory with my clients, as it reveals to me certain career personality traits together with intentional direction – great meat to chew on with my clients in our coaching sessions!

3. Your Career Values

Firstly I need to tell you that Career Values are not the same as your Personal Core Values. These two are of different levels of importance. Core Values are of secondary importance whereas Career Values are of tertiary importance. This hierarchy of importance is where a lot of people go wrong.

Your worth and dignity is beyond any value – it is infinite. It is constant and never changes. Nothing material (such as money) can ever ransom or exchange your intrinsic and human worth. Please, please remember this for the rest of your life!! Whatever salary you are paid does not equal your immeasurable worth… ok??

Secondly, let’s establish the hierarchy of values. Your Personal Core Values are fundamental interior lights that find an expression for your unique worth. They are both borne out of, and feed back into, your beliefs, attitude and behaviours, your tendencies, attractions and then the faculty of your will. Personal Core Values are of secondary importance in understanding oneself. The tertiary importance of Career Values is simply based on the fact that they ought to be borne out of personal core values, and not the other way around.

When someone places their sense of worth on their career, or what they can do, they strip themselves of their inherent dignity and value. This is level III-I (three to one) disorder. Level III-II (three to two) disorder can be found when, in a similar manner, someone’s personal values are uprooted, and re-rooted in the third hierarchy – that of the career. In other words, someone’s core values are aligned with career values, rather than the other way around. This is, in my opinion, disorder, pure and simple. Is it any wonder why people climb career ladders, achieving all their career goals, and yet experience this emptiness or dissatisfaction in life!?

When I’m career coaching, I use a variety of methods to identify clients’ career values, but I stress the distinction between these values and core values. One of the most fundamental pieces I work on with life coaching clients is personal core values identification. Sometimes, I work on both – but it depends on the client. There’s a myriad of content out there about values, and on this one, I encourage you to do some research (taking into account all I’ve just said) 🙂

4. Your Skills and Competencies

This is usually the most obvious approach someone takes when beginning their career exploration or development. I think this is because when it comes down to recruitment, one of the major shortlisting factors is skills and competencies.

There’s a multitude of ways you can determine or get clarity on your skills and competencies. One task I might give my clients is a workbook based on the European Skills, Competences, Qualifications and Occupations classifications, which I call the Skills to Occupations Inventory. I might also give my clients a personal SWOT style analysis. As mentioned, there are a myriad of options out there. This skills matcher is a helpful one, I have found.

5. Your Differentiator

Finally, knowing what makes you different will give you that added boost of confidence at both application and interview stage. This is really an amalgamation of the previous 4 steps, plus your own conviction and character.

During this time, we’re going to see huge organisational changes, and the way we work is also going to change. The Covid-19 / Coronavirus pandemic is going to loosen tightened hearts. Soft-skills like empathy, compassion, understanding are skills that will be very much needed – skills, that we aren’t often needed or appreciated in the majority of corporate roles. Resilience and adversity – where does that sit with you? Where do you sit with them in yourself?

The power of career coaching really shines through when it comes to differentiation work. Here, working with a coach will nail down the clarity on what makes you different from the rest, and how to really bring that message into your application and interviews. This is because your career coach will be looking for the absolute best in you as well as the blind spots in you too.  Your answers to their requests for information (whether the method is application, testing or interview), if holistic yet honest will make you really stand out.

 

Taking this further

You could, of course, work through the above on your own. That would be fantastic, and a lot cheaper for you! However, if assistance in developing your career personality is needed then, of course, I’m going to recommend that you get yourself a career coach.

A good career coach wants you to know as much about yourself as possible, wants you to be convinced by the worth of who you are and the added value of what you can offer the world, and wants you to succeed for your very own sake, and not for what they would benefit from being your coach. As great as that sounds, however, it will require you to do your homework. This sort of stuff doesn’t always appear in a dream 😉 If you are furloughed at the moment, this might be a good time to do this work.

Self-Knowledge / Self-Awareness in career work is often known as Career Personality. Whilst a career coach can help you with the other parts of the process of getting a job and also continued professional development, for me personally, the starting point must be your self-knowledge. It is absolutely fundamental to your preparations for your next move. Your development or progress may be misdirected if you ultimately don’t know the end goal for yourself, and your decision-making may not be truly aligned with your core values otherwise. No coach would ever want you to make decisions that will lead to unhappiness.

Your journey of self-discovery will be a beautiful one, I promise. And oh, how excited I am for you if you’re about to embark on it!

Life Coach, Change Agent Management, Holistic Massage Therapy, Wellbeing, London, West,

I’m Claz, a Professional Career Coach based in West London, accredited in the UK. I am also a Life & Wellbeing Coach, working with individuals as well as organisations.  You can contact me through my website www.touchofclarity.com.

 

Communication framework for micro & small business impacted by Coronavirus

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Many businesses are being forced to make severe and drastic changes as the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic begin to show its impact on the economy and on people. For many of us, it’s not looking good. Leaders now need to remain strong and communicate well and transparently with their stakeholders – in particular their staff.

This framework is a helpful tool for micro & small businesses to aid in communicating the strategy and plan for the necessary business changes that will take place to weather this particular storm.

Communication framework for business change

 

10 reasons why ‘failure’ is actually good FOR us

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10 reasons why ‘failure’ is actually GOOD for us.

 

10. Failure builds up our resilience. Resilience is widely recognised as an essential life skill. One that enables us to fulfil our potentials, despite setbacks, difficult circumstances and adversity.

9. Failure gives us an opportunity to reflect and reassess ourselves. Whether that’s about skillset, character, motives, mindset, heartset, or current circumstances. An action plan is then likely to come out of this reflection! A life coach can help you with this.

8. Failure invites us to creative challenge. Rarely is failing an excuse to move or change the goals set for ourselves. This means reassessing the journey toward the goal. We might have to be more creative about it, and think out of the box as to how we’ll reach that goal. Either way, it’s a great opportunity for inspiration to take root and innovation to make an appearance.

7. Failure teaches us about what works and what doesn’t! This valuable knowledge is transferrable into all arenas of our lives. We must use this experiential knowledge wisely.

6. Failure exposes us to the depths of human brokenness – not just our own, but others’ as well. If someone is delighting in our failure, there is a reason for it. What is this reason?

5. Failure calls others to empathy and compassion… for US. Yes, my friend. We are loved… and sometimes, that love is best expressed through someone’s compassion and kindness toward us. Believe it or not, that compassion may just benefit you far more than it benefits the giver. Welcome to the economy of kindness!

4. Failure reminds us to remain humble. Where others would argue that failure helps us develop skills and character, we ought to remember that failure helps us to grow in virtue too. Virtues are keys to our spiritual potential – especially if one is Christian. If ever there was a rocket propellant to maturity, it’s failure!

3. Failure turns us into natural problem-solvers. Thomas Edison famously failed nearly 10,000 times on creating a commercially viable electric lightbulb. He attempted to solve the problem that caused each failure, remembering them all. It took nearly 10,000 problem-solving attempts to reach his success.

2. Failure brings us extraordinary life experiences, borne out of pain. Think about that one for a moment.

1. Failure only exists because the goal to reach has not been abandoned. Every failure strengthens our resolve to reach the goal, the target, and empty ourselves in authentic love. This is the most noble and greatest definition of success – to give everything of ourselves. During the Stations of the Cross I am always struck so deeply on the third, seventh and ninth Stations, when Jesus falls. For Our Lord, the goal of this particular journey was the Cross. Not the Resurrection. For each time He fell, LOVE lifted Him up to continue to the end. He gave it His all. He gave US His all. Love is worth falling for.

 

There is a distinct difference between something (or someone) being good to us, and being good for us. Certainly, it won’t feel that occasions of failure are good to us, but certainly, good comes out of all these the things, that they are ultimately good for us. Although we do benefit, it is still important to keep our eyes fixed on the ultimate goal.