5 building blocks to resilience

My 5 building blocks to resilience are really very simple! They’re pretty much your foundations to #wellness.

🛌 SLEEP

Just the number of hormones released during your sleep alone should be enough to alert you to the importance of a healthy sleep routine. This is the necessary recovery time for your body, your mind, your emotions and serves as your daily reset. The relationship between resiliency and the ‘reset’ will feature in part 2 of my upcoming resiliency training programme. If you’re wanting sleep wellness tips though, you can check out a previous blogpost here.

💦 WATER

3.7 ltrs for men and 2.7 ltrs for women is the recommended daily fluid intake by the U.S. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. Some of this will come via your food intake. The rest needs to come via your drinks. Make it a habit to consume as much of this remainder as simple water, as opposed to other drinks (particularly those with caffeine in them). Research has shown us that water supplementation following a dehydrated state was found to improve performance on tasks measuring cognitive reflection in judgement and decision-making – critical elements of resiliency[1].

🙏 SPIRITUAL LIFE

Resiliency requires the use of both your intellect and your will (i.e. the heart). There is a very deep connection between resiliency and spirituality, which is often used as a tool to live well in relationships, manage change, cope with adversity, increase power of belief, and commit to upholding values and practices[2]. Nourish your spiritual life with prayer and meditation, and over time with the help of God’s grace, you will find yourself more ‘connected’ and more ready to face difficulties that will form (painful but necessary) part of your interior growth and maturation.

🥗 HEALTHY EATING

The link between stress and resilience is well known. And so is the advice on healthy eating to reduce stress[3]. In summary, here are the sub-tips I’ll share on #functionalfood:

  • Eat to reduce inflammation in the body. Inflammation can cause a multitude of bodily malfunctions and imbalances, so be pro-active in avoiding chronic illness by reducing that.
  • Eat to promote and support your immune system. Daily raw fermented foods and aids are a great starting point. 
  • Consume your daily (or weekly) required amounts of vitamins and minerals. A 7 day food diary to kick this off is the best thing you can do to check that you’re on the right track!

🏋️‍♀️ EXERCISE

Doing your 10,000 steps is amazing… but it’s not enough. Our bodies were designed for movement – particularly walking – yes. But it was also designed for lifting, carrying and general resistance-style work. The minimum requirements of exercise for adults aged 18-64 are:

  • at least 150–300 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity; or at least 75–150 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity; or an equivalent combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity activity throughout the week 
  • muscle-strengthening activities at moderate or greater intensity that involve all major muscle groups on 2 or more days a week
  • limit the amount of time spent being sedentary
  • aim to do more than the recommended levels of moderate- to vigorous-intensity physical activity 

Note the importance of strength & conditioning exercise being included in your weekly routine. The body needs it. And if your body needs it, so does your resilience.


[1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30666412/ Given the varied effects of water on cognition, this study explored potential effects of water supplementation, hydration status, and thirst on thinking and decision-making tasks.

[2] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15528030.2018.1532859

[3] https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/body/food/healthy-eating-for-resilience


I’m Claz, a personal health & career coach as well as a massage therapist based in West London, accredited in the UK. You can book a session with me here or sign up to my workshops on my Eventbrite Page. Upcoming workshops include personal resiliency training.

Glossary of Terms related to Self-Confidence

This glossary or terms has been put together as a way of understanding the deeper meaning of the word, according to its Latin etymology. For the few words like ‘shy’, which don’t have Latin origin, I’ve taken the old English meaning (often rooted in old Norse or old French).

Faith (Latin: fides as above)- To trust, to believe

Confidence (Latin: Con=with; fidere (same root as fides)) – With trust, with belief, assurance in, reliance of

Self-confidence – As above + in oneself

Love (affective) – to cherish, delight in, approve (for the sake of the other’s good, and not as a means to one’s own self-gratification or self-satisfaction)

Self-belief – Conviction of the truth of oneself

Self-interest – a motive of human action oriented purely to oneself

Ego – the conscious and permanent subject of one’s own mental experiences and free decisions

Self-worth – the inherent significance, value and dignity of oneself

Humility – grounded, down to earth, authentic perception of one’s state

Self-esteem – to value -, determine the value of -, appraise -, oneself

Arrogance – a manifest feeling of superiority of one’s worth or importance, combined with contempt of others

Self-respect – act of regarding -, a looking at -, observe -, oneself

Self-acceptance – take or receive willingly the self. This notion assumes that one receives oneself as a gift unto themselves and unto others [and the necessity of the divine Gift-Giver]

Self-centred – assignation of a point round which things revolves being oneself. Also meaning engrossed in the self combined with little regard for others

Selfish – Often a momentary motive behind an act that is self-seeking, self-ended, self-ful.  Tends to be seen as lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure

Egocentric – Often a behavioural trait or dispositional characteristic centred in or arising from a person’s own individual existence or perspective without regard for the feelings or desires of others

Self-doubt – to dread -, fear -, be afraid -, be of two minds -, undecided -, in and of oneself

Optimistic – disposed to take the most hopeful view of a matter

Hopeful – to be full of confident expectation

Persevering – continue steadfastly, persist

Resilient – inclined to leap or spring back (from set-backs, adversity)

Shy – timid, easily startled, shrinking from -, avoidance of -, contact with others

Scared – to experience: fright, to shrink from, shun, prevention of, aversion of

Persistence – abide, continue steadfastly

Fear – irrational panic, horror, or aversion

Afraid – to take out of peace

 

A massive thank you to the Online Etymology Dictionary for its help in this!

7 steps to decision-making clarity

🤷‍♀️ Why do people get stuck when making a decision?

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Photo by timJ on Unsplash

That’s a really good question, and there may be many answers to it! This is why I find it helpful to take a systematic and structured approach to the decision-making thought process. At every stage self-awareness is as necessary as the content that surfaces when thinking through a decision. Many obstacles and hindrances to decision-making often and subtly surface up into the light but can then be excused by the irrational self. In these moments, it can be a challenge to have clear perception.

Whether you are making a life-changing decision about your relationships, your career, your life goals yourself or your wellbeing, here is my 7 step personal decision-making approach for clarity. I hope it will save you time, stress and ultimately heartache, when trying think through your decision!

 

Step 1: Define your situation

This is where it begins!

The more self-knowledgeable you are, the faster you will pass through this stage. Here, you’ll get to weigh up the significance of this decision you’re making against who you are, what you stand for, where you’re heading, and decide whether this decision needs to be taken now.

If you are a person of faith, then you will also want to bring God into this entire journey.

Self-Coaching questions for step 1

What is/are… [aka Define]:

  • the significance of this decision?
  • your needs?
  • your priorities?
  • your wants?
  • your vision, mission & values?
  • the implications if you do not make a decision about this?
  • the ideal decision?
  • the timing of your decision?

 

Step 2: Clarify what you’re making a decision about

Clarifying what the driving and resisting forces of this decision are, what is influencing the decision and how much power those influences have over you and your decision, as well as gaining insight into your decision-making strengths and weaknesses will help clarify what your decision is really about.

Self-Coaching questions for step 2

Clarify:

  • how does this decision align with your values?
  • how does this decision align with your goals & vision?
  • how does this decision align with your purpose & mission?
  • what are your decision-making strengths and weaknesses?
  • what are the driving forces in your decision?
  • what are the resisting forces in your decision?
  • what are the influencing factors in your decision?
  • what gaps are there in your knowledge, skills, competencies and experience re this decision?
  • who is/are influencing this decision?

 

Step 3: Identify outcomes of your decision

This activity will help you to separate what are assumed, and what are certain outcomes of your decision. Broken down into short, medium and long term outcomes, this step will help you to reflect on your emotional and psychological commitment to those outcomes.

You’ll also gain some insight into your change readiness.

Self-Coaching questions for step 3

Identify the short, medium and long term outcomes with:

  • what will this decisions’ impact be on your physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological health?
  • how will it affect the people directly involved in your life?
  • what it will mean for the regular routine you live by or your daily activities?
  • what are the material considerations of your outcomes (e.g. possessions & value of them)?
  • what are the financial considerations of your outcomes (e.g. regular income, savings, investments, retirement)?
  • what are the career & job considerations of your outcomes?

 

Step 4: Consider the options, alternatives, consequences & opportunities of the decision

Here is where you identify all the risks in your decision, as well as the impact of this decision to your and others before actually committing to it.

Self-Coaching questions for step 4

Consider:

  • what are the pros and cons?
  • what are the risks? How to mitigate them?
  • what are the positive and negative impacts?
  • where can opportunities be found?
  • how will it cost you in time & personal resources?
  • what sacrifices will be required?
  • what would you ideal choice be if you had to choose?

 

Step 5: Understand any emotions behind your decision

Your heart is greatly influenced by your past experiences, your desires, your passions, your pains, your personality, and a myriad of other factors and qualities.

Here is an opportunity to check the balance between your emotions and your rationale, moving forward without looking back in regret.

Self-Coaching questions for step 4

Understand:

  • what pressures may this decision be feeding on?
  • what needs may this decision be feeding on?
  • how can I be more balanced (head vs heart)?
  • what emotions are influencing here?
  • what are my fears?
  • where might I be experiencing limiting beliefs?
  • how will my feelings change after this decision?
  • how are my past experiences influencing my emotions & feelings?
  • when am I likely to change my mind because of others’ feelings?

 

Step 6: Capture other viewpoints & objective opinions

There is GREAT VALUE in seeking counsel.

Seek the opinion of those:

  • immediately involved in this decision
  • indirectly involved in this decision
  • experienced in this area
  • whose wisdom you appreciate & respect
  • in the ‘helping’ professions

Self-Coaching questions for step 6

Capture:

  • what do the people most involved in this decision have to say?
  • what do people indirectly involved in this decision have to say?
  • what do people with experience of this decision have to say?
  • what do people whose wisdom you appreciate and respect have to say?
  • what do professionals from the ‘helping’ professions have to say?

 

Step 7: Prepare & commit yourself to your decision

Often, limiting beliefs and self-sabotage about a decision happen before the very moment of committing to a decision. This is unlikely to happen if you’ve gone through the previous 6 steps to decision-making clarity. You will know what actions are needed to move forward confidently and courageously.

Self-Coaching questions for step 7

Prepare & Commit:

  • what are my critical activities moving forward?
  • what personal preferences do I have?
  • how can I exercise greater freedom of heart?
  • where do I need to exercise more resilience?
  • where do I need to exercise more courage?
  • what are my coping strategies?
  • how often should I review my progress and approach?
  • what does my task list look like?

 


Need an objective opinion to walk through the above with?

Depending on your situation (particularly the time limitation) and the gravity of the decision you have to make, you may be interested in an intensive breakthrough coaching session to get to decision-making clarity quickly, and for putting a sketch plan in place.

Intensive Breakthrough Coaching Session for decision-making clarity (2.5 hrs)

What is included in your session?

  • Initial email outlining your preparation for the session
  • Any relevant tools or materials required for activities in your session
  • Face to face to face session in West London OR video meeting call (prices vary by location & added onto base price. Video meetings via Zoom are no extra cost.)
  • Follow up email with reflections from the session and suggested actions

 Your investment

My intensive breakthrough coaching session is great value at a base price of £325. For this amount you will gain:

  • peace of mind and of heart that you have made the most informed and thought-through decision you could possibly have made
  • clarity on 99.9% of elements, factors, influences and options worth considering
  • an impeccably designed set of action points / plan to make any changes smoothly based on who you are and where you’re heading
  • greater knowledge of your blindspots and choke points, with an increased desire to manage those
  • confidence because you’ll have cleared mental and emotional obstacles preventing you from moving forward
  • enhanced or maintained good quality relationships (personal or professional)
  • holistic & well-balanced perspective, energy and momentum
  • avoidance of more time and money spent down the line from a decision that ultimately cost you more than you could afford
  • relief from stress and heartache that would have been an outcome of a poorly-made decision