We’ve all heard the saying: to err is human, to forgive, divine. Forgiveness is perhaps the most powerful healing force possible, yet so few are acutely aware of or in touch with this interior power, and even fewer are truly transformed by it. I suppose this is one of the reasons why I run a Forgiveness, Healing and Freedom workshop. I want every single human being to know that no matter what, each of us has the power to forgive and experience its transformational capability.
Interestingly, I began to put together the workshop on forgiveness, because every single time I ran a love languages workshop (for details about the next workshop, see my events page), there was often a huge barrier presenting in some attendees’ capacity to love authentically. The symptoms show in feelings of resentment, hostility, anger, and hatred toward another person, or system, or body of people (whether outwardly or subtly); and there is only one antidote to this blockage: forgiveness.
For love to be authentic, it needs to be both given and received in freedom. So when there is something holding a person captive from acting genuinely in love, a process (or what I prefer to call a journey of growth) needs to take place. Forgiveness is just one of these stages (similar to any experience of change), as is the stage of interior healing, and then of course, freedom. At this point can love be given and received fully, without barriers and with a purity that would demonstrate the brilliance of love itself. I like to think of the aura around this love being peace, although I note these as two different things.
It is impossible to avoid being hurt by others. Even those of us with faith know a certain painfulness of developing an intimate relationship with God that in more advanced stages feels like rejection and abject hurt. This is an arena that I study in my own time and if you ever want to converse with me about that, feel free to drop me a line. But as human beings, even these moments of clemency can transform us from being bitter and repressive to joy-filled and free. Regardless of whether the other person who has hurt us apologises, shows remorse, or is deemed deserving of our mercy, the gift and journey of forgiveness has its highest value first and foremost in the one who has been hurt. The ripple effect of that ultimate ‘letting go’ finds benefit in everyone around them, including the person who offended, as a secondary outcome. This is the most perfect route of forgiveness.
At the same time, the importance of worth comes into the picture. Whilst some of the people I work with come to terms with what it is they have to ‘let go’ of, others are approaching me to help them temper their capacity to forgive as they are finding themselves (in their own words) being a ‘pushover’. Interestingly, for people who consider themselves a pushover, it’s not the area of forgiveness that needs work. In fact, it seems to me they got that spot on. It could be that there is some work to be done in the healing arena, and a deeper diagnosis would be necessary to identify that. But certainly, for someone who feels like a pushover there will be some work to be done in the freedom stage of the journey. The journey ought to end in authentic mutuality of love – given and received freely. Freedom exists for the sake of love and is unquestionably different to this concept and lifestyle of ‘license’, which skews and warps the very truth of love itself. Nobody has any right to treat another as a pushover, unless they have been given license to do so. Understanding and practising freedom rightly enables authentic love to take place.
The journey to love can be a very difficult one, yes – a journey of valleys and mountains influencing our emotions and logic. But I’d like you all to remember that every journey takes time. Love needs its time. Perhaps this message is especially for one of my readers who simply needs to learn the art of waiting in hopeful anticipation for love to takes its course. Come to know that point of peace that spurs you into good acts void of resentment, hostility, anger and hatred. And if you’d like to walk through the process, then you’re welcome to join my next forgiveness, healing and freedom workshop taking place in summer 2021 (date tbc)!
I’m Claz, a Life & Career Coach working with individuals as well as organisations, accredited in the UK. You can contact me through my website www.touchofclarity.com and sign up to my workshops on my Eventbrite Page. I am also a holistic massage & wellbeing therapist based in West London and treatments can be booked on my scheduling site.